Boom...

Boom shick-a woww-woww!!!

*sigh*

PuddleMama's period began yesterday. There is some disappointment of course, but mostly we feel relief that we know something more definite. We fired up the ovulation calendar, and the "Make a Baby" button is still working as expected, so we'll be just fine (although PuddleMama may make a doctor visit because of the wierdness lately to confirm everything is good.)

Of course, the last few weeks have taught both PuddleMama and myself a few things. Time for another forced bullet-list:

• I only feel akward for about 5 seconds when typing or saying "period" instead of completely avoiding the term as I did a few weeks ago
• HPT's are a bit more complicated than we thought
• Patience is key to not riding an emotional roller-coaster- wait 8-10 days to take an HPT after a missed period (I only felt akward for about 4 seconds that time!)

There was definitely more, but those were the three most important in my book (or should I say in my blog...)

Still....

Still late... Still negative...

Count to Five!

PuddleMama is still late- and the pregnancy test still ends up with only one pink line (negative.) Every day that goes by she is still "late" ups the excitement, and each pregnancy test with one pink line is disheartening.

HPT's (Home Pregnancy Tests) are one of those things you take for granted before you are depending on one to reveal one of the most important changes in your life.

The commercials for HPT's make you think they are 99.999% accurate. I started reading the box of an HPT test today, and did a few google searches. What I found was that HPT's, like most things in life, are much more complicated then they appear on a 30 second commercial.

What I found:

• All HPT's detect a single hormone, which is present only during a pregnancy
• HPT's are 99.x% effective at detecting said hormone. This does not mean 99.x% of woman taking an HPT will get the correct result for their respective condition. This is an important difference.
• The directions for the last HPT PuddleMama took had several interesting instructions, including how long you expose the HPT to the test fluid (that's a fancy way of saying "pee")- exactly five seconds. This instruction was both bolded and underlined. Under five seconds you risk not enough exposure of the HPT to the detectable hormone. More than five seconds risks oversaturation and wash out.
• Some HPT's claim they can detect the hormone up to four days before a scheduled period. Although if you read the fine print, the chances of an HPT properly detecting that early are about as good as flipping a coin. Eight to ten days after a missed period is ideal for detecting the hormone.
• The morning is the best chance to detect the hormone

I found an interesting, and frightening study from google about HPT's:

http://archfami.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/7/5/465

The point is I asked PuddleMama to count to five. She came pretty close, but I would hesitate to say she hit it exactly.

I test software for a living. HPT's take one input, and have only two possible outputs. I wish the software I tested were as simplistic. The progams I test are infinitely more complex in terms of inputs and outputs, but I do not envy the job of an HPT Quality Assurance Engineer. The stakes are too high, and the results are more unpredictable than even Microsoft software.

I've decided that a future testing strategy is needed. It's pretty simple actually, especially considering all the thinking, googling, and box reading it took to reach. Do not take a pregnancy test before 10 days after a missed period. It does take some self control, but it will save an unnecessary wave of emotions.

The last thing I asked PuddleMama tonight was- "Forget about the tests, listen to your body. Do you think you are pregnant?" She said "Yes" immediately. She has been having some headaches and other unusual symptoms, and she can not recall a single late period in all her bloomed years. Regular as a swiss timepiece.

So, if she is pregnant the lesson is obvious- listen and trust your body, and not some poorly manufactured, over-promising piece of plastic.

I'm hoping understanding the limitations of HPT's will not be important to me in several months, but I do wish I would have had understanding of the limitations several weeks ago.

late, but...

PuddleMama is a few days late, but she has taken three pregnancy tests and all have come back negative. We think her cycle may just be getting back in whack after she stopped taking the pill. She said she is normally predictable not only to the day, but to the time of day. As I noted in the previous post, it is difficult to balance excitement and desire with having realistic expectations. So much so I hesitate to add blog entries- of repeated excitement or repeated disapointment- in order to temper either emotion until something more defined happens.

Belly Button Babies

When considering where babies came from, I never believed anything as silly as Storks dropping laughing infants off on doorsteps in the middle of the night. Maybe if I had grown up in South Carolina or Florida, or maybe if the myth had been about seagulls, which growing up in Duluth had made me intimately familiar with, I would have bought into the common story.

However, through my own tike logic and hearing terms like "sleeping together" I did solidly believe that a little miniature baby crawled out of the dad's belly button, across the bed, into the mom's belly button, where it grew for awhile. What else would belly buttons be for? Of course, the little baby being so little, it took a solid nights sleep for the baby to make it all the way out of the papa belly button into the mama belly button. All while mama and papa slept soundly.

The question of why a baby wasn't formed every night mama and papa slept soundly never crossed my mind. I never wondered what the chances of a belly button baby completing the voyage actually were. It just happened.

Of course, sex-ed and society in general soon bombarded me with answers to that very question. As I learned the real basics of the seagulls and the bees, so was I soon convinced that even being in the same swimming pool with a girl created a good chance I was going to be a teen dad that never would go to college (not to mention the unfortunate uncurable condition I would acquire.)

I'm certainly not trying to claim that this idea was bad for me, or any hormonal teenager, to have. Teen logic without these scare tactics would have served nearly as well as tike logic in preventing an unwanted pregnancy.

It is interesting, though, when you really begin desiring and planning for a baby how perceptions change. It's hard to shed the implanted idea it will happen instantly. It is equally hard to hear all the sad stories of the couples that have trouble conceiving at all, let alone instantly...

I have heard that it is perfectly normal for a healthy couple to take up to a year to get pregnant. Well, for now PuddleMama and I try to balance patience and excitement. And I figure it won't hurt to jump in a swimming pool with her during the peak of her luteal phase or to make sure both our belly buttons are exposed before we fall asleep....

Make a Baby Button

Santa gave me a universal remote for Xmas. It's great- one button sets up my entire system to play the Wii, watch a blu-ray movie on the PS3, watch TV, or even raise or lower my window blinds.

You may wonder what this has to do with being a father. Well... Yesterday I created a "Make a Baby" activity. No it won't automagically complete games of patty-cake, but it will with a single button click turn on my receiver and turn it to channel 408- R&B Hits. Hot.