Just Me and My Dad

According to the our prenatal resources, PuddleBaby could hear external sounds this week! We designated last Saturday as the first day the baby could hear, which must have been quite a spectacular first day since PuddleMama and I were whooping it up in Duluth with my family. Lucky baby.

So tonight I read PuddleBaby his first book, "Just Me and My Dad" by Mercer Meyer (an author I fondly remember from my own youth.) It's about a camping trip. My favorite part is when the bear steals the fish dinner they caught in the river, with an owl looking on. I wonder what PuddleBaby's favorite part will be.

I was just thinking today about camping with the little bugger. PuddleMama is not the most avid outdoors woman, and so I figure I will have to read "Just Me and My Dad" many times to this kid to subconsciously ingrain how much fun camping is with dad. I'm willing to brainwash my kid so I always have someone to go camping, fishing, or kayaking with.

Katie Helen

Until the day I was born, my name was destined to be "Katie Helen." A lovely name, yes, but fortunately my parents took mercy once they counted to 21 and named me more appropriately. My mother was certain I was a girl, or at the very least had a "preference" for one. Although my little pecker provided a minor disappointment (wow could that sentence be embarressing taken out of context) my mother has assured me she still loved (loves) me........... Even if I was dressed up in little girl clothes on more than one occasion (note all occurrences before I had a say in the matter.)

Anyway, a hot topic is whether PuddleMama and I will find out the sex before the birth. The answer is yes, on October 21st. The results will be posted here immediately, so check back soon. In the meantime, PuddleMama and I have gone through a series of home tests, to give any curious souls who can't wait another month an indication which way the fates are pointing. Once you have reviewed the facts, be sure to vote your feeling with the poll on the right!


Chinese Lunar Chart
A chart was found in an ancient royal tomb near Beijing, and is said to be over 90% accurate in predicting sex. Result is based on age of mother (26) and month of conception (June.)
GIRL

Hang a wedding ring on a string over mother's belly.
Pendulum motion = Boy, Circular motion = Girl
BOY (Even when PuddleMama tried to hold it!)

Where is the extra weight on the mother?
Out front = Boy. Hips and bottom = Girl.
BOY

How fast is the hair on the mother's legs growing?
More quickly = Boy, No change = Girl
BOY (ICK!)

Where is the baby being carried?
Low = Boy, High = Girl
BOY

How cold are the mother's feet?
Colder = Boy, No Change = Girl
GIRL

Which direction is the mother's pillow at night- north or south facing?
North = Boy, South = Girl
BOY

Does the mother refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
GIRL

Is the father gaining weight along with the mother?
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
GIRL

What is the maternal grandmother's hair color?
Gray = Boy, Other = Girl
GIRL

Did the mother have morning sickness?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
BOY

Does the mother look particularly good during pregnancy? (Girls steal their mother's looks)
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
INCONCLUSIVE (PuddleDaddy and PuddleMama had mixed opinions- obviously PuddleDaddy predicts a boy based on this test)

Has the mother's chest development been dramatic?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
GIRL (YES!)

Is the mother's urine bright neon or dull yellow?
Bright neon = Boy, Dull yellow = Girl
GIRL

Has the mother been craving sweets more or salty/sour more?
Salty/Sour = Boy, Sweets = Girl
BOY

Has the mother been craving meats/cheese or fruit more?
Meats/Cheese = Boy, Fruit = Girl
GIRL

Has the mother's nose spread during pregnancy?
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
GIRL

Is the baby's heart rate above or below 140 beats / minute
Below = Boy, Above = Girl
GIRL

Has the mother been craving orange juice every day?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
GIRL

Is the mother having headaches?
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
BOY

Does the mother's abdomen look more like a watermelon or a basketball?
Basketball = Boy, Watermelon = Girl
GIRL

Mix the mother's urine with Drano.
Brownish Color = Boy, Clear = Girl
INCONCLUSIVE (See previous post, test not performed for safety reasons)


TOTALS:
Girl = 12 (54.5%)
Boy = 8 (36.5%)
Inconclusive = 2 (9%)
Margin of Error = +/- 100%


PuddleMama was satisfied with these results. I'm a bit more skeptical. If you know any other home tests to try, send me a note and we'll add 'em to the list. We'll use this post as a benchmark for the next kiddo that comes along...

Just say YES

PuddleMama has started to talk about classes. I'm all for taking a class or two, especially if it's at the hospital so we can start to learn our way around. Then she brought up "Breast Feeding" class and my willingness for classes began to waver. I mean, wouldn't I make everyone (and by everyone I mean everyone besides PuddleMama) uncomfortable? Do other expectant mothers really want some random dude around while the teacher explains how to use a $300 breast pump? Are there going to be other expectant fathers staring at the same floor corner as I am? (This room better have enough corners!) I am not trying to belittle the class- I heard it can be a very informative and useful experience. I am only questioning my place in said class.

Having thought about it a bit more, I've decided in good conscience I can't say no. In fact, I need to do more than go, I need to fully and whole-heartily participate. I've already started coming up with a list of questions:

1. What are good methods for "pumping-and-dumping" while on the go?
2. If we run out of 1%, can PuddleMama's milk get us through till Wednesday?
3. What can I do as a father to maximize the milk production factory?
4. How do I not look tired and cranky when I'm really tired and cranky as I sit up with PuddleMama in the middle of the night?
5. Breast feeding is a beautiful experience and I can stare all I want. RIGHT?!

Now, I can almost hear the male readers groaning and thinking my first response (reluctance) was right on- why the heck would I be caught dead in that class? Well, I've consciously decided that I'm "all in" on this deal. Not to get too sappy, but this is my family, and it's that damn important. "I don't want to have any regrets" is often overused. I won't go as far as saying anything that pretentious. I will say, if I have regrets I want it to be because I was too involved, and I did too much- not the other way around.

I can catch the baby as it shoots out? Sign me up. Do I want to cut the umbilical cord myself? You betcha. Do I want to mix PuddleMama's pee with Drano to see if we're having a boy or a girl? Uhm.... well.... YES! Breast feeding class? Easy- Wednesday's work best for me.

Besides, the more stories I have to absolutely embarrass PuddleBaby with as he grows the better (or as she grows, Drano test still pending.)

UPDATE: Apparently the Drano test is considered quite dangerous- surprisingly, mixing urine and Drano can create potentially toxic and explosive results (a fact I am glad no one told me when I was in high school.) Unless we can find a chemical engineer with a safe lab we may pass on this test, so that may not have been the best example for my "Just say YES" post, but you get the idea.

one fitty

PuddleMama had a monthly checkup today and Doc found the heartbeat immediately. One fitty! Everything looks good, with only a little concern over some headaches PuddleMama has been having. Hopefully they won't get worse.

Next month is ultrasound and the chance to narrow our pool of potential names by approximately one half. Stay tuned.

F.A.Q.

PuddleBaby F.A.Q.

1. OMG!? You're having a baby?!
Yes, we are very excited.

2. When is the little bug due?!
Early March. The experts have narrowed it down to between March 1 and March 9. We're hoping for St. Patty's day- wouldn't that be cool?

3. Are you going to find out early if it's a boy or a girl?
Yes.

4. Oh that's too bad... Don't you want it to be a surprise?
We have considered our options carefully and are excited to find out early, but thank you for your opinion.

5. OMG!! A baby! Aren't you excited?!
See F.A.Q #1.

6. What are you going to name him/her?
We will look more closely at names once we know the sex, but we will not be discussing names with others (I really don't want to know how you knew a "Sally" in grade school who used to eat her boogers.)

7. I really like the name.....
We are considering our options carefully, but again thank you for your opinion.

8. Do you want a boy or a girl?
Of course we'd be thrilled with either. PuddleMama has designs on a girl. I would like a boy first, so someday he can help protect his little sister(s) against those high school boys (I'll need all the help I can get.)

9. Your townhouse isn't the best for kids. Are you going to move soon?
Yes, we are hoping to move within the next year, but most likely after the little pooper arrives. If you or anyone you know is looking for a great deal on a fabulous 2 bedroom/2.5 bath townhouse in Shoreview let us know.

10. My little [PuddleDaddy/PuddleMama] is having a baby?! I can't believe it! Are you excited?!
See F.A.Q. #5 and #1.

11. Do you know how hard it is? Do you know your life is totally going to change?! Say goodbye to sleep!
Obviously we are unaware of the true extent of how exactly this will change our lives, this being our first child and all. However, we have heard from concerned observers that extensive and dramatic changes are forthcoming. The same observers have also noted that it is "totally worth it."

12. What hospital are you having the baby at?
We currently believe the stinker will be born at United Hospital in downtown St. Paul.

13. Can I rub your belly? (This one is generally only directed at PuddleMama)
Since you asked nicely, yes (if you're not a creep-o.)

14. How have you been feeling? (Again, mostly to PuddleMama)
Tired, but good. PuddleMama had only very minor morning sickness.

15. Have you had any sympathy pains? (This one to PuddleDaddy)
I am a very sensitive person. I have had every sympathy pain in the book, even prenatal pains PuddleMama hasn't yet experienced. You should have seen the "morning sickness" the day after my birthday party. I don't remember ever being that sensitive before.

16. Are your parents excited?
This will be the first grandchild for both sets of parents. "Excited" would be an understatement.

$280 for a....

BREAST PUMP?!

I knew there would be some expensive items in this whole baby adventure, but in my simple, inexperienced mind I had put "breast pump" in the range of prices of a small household appliance (maybe a blender or humidifier.) This thing better double as a beer kegerator.

Ouch.

Heartbeat!

PuddleMama was a little tiffed I didn't mention this in the blog earlier, but we heard PuddleBaby's heartbeat last week, and it was fantastic! I know all you random blog-readers were eagerly anticipating that announcement...

Pregnant Lady at the State Fair

PuddleMama and I eagerly anticipate the Minnesota State Fair every year, but this year a special vibe radiated the pre-game conversations. PuddleMamam is in her second trimester now, early enough to not feel too encumbered and overheated, but late enough to be past most of the nausea more common in early pregnancy. We're also still well in the zone of cravings and hunger. The result? A perfect, deep-fried, storm on-a-stick!

Veggie Fries, ice cream cones, pronto-pups, cheese-on-a-stick, cheese curds, and of course some Sweet Martha's! Mmmmmmm......

After we got our fill, I thought it was appropriate that we visit the birthing center, which despite my many previous state fair visits, I had never experienced. I figured I could pick up some pointers, learn some new vocabulary, and get a little more acclimated to the idea of the actual birth (only about six months away!)

As we strolled though pens of pregnant chickens, cows, sheep, and miniature horses PuddleMama and I became excited when we saw a good-sized pig that looked about ready to spit out some piglets (see what I mean about needing a vocabulary lesson?) Anyway, you might ask how we knew this miracle was about to happen. I'll tell you honestly, it was because a lady near the rear end of the pig had an arm covered in plastic deep insde and digging around in you know where.

Well, let's just say I didn't have to hold back a tear (more like a gag) when instead of a cute bouncy little pink Wilbur she pulled out a decidedly not cute, bouncy, bloody placenta. Maybe it's more miraculous if you see the piglets getting pulled out first.

After this little life lesson, PuddleMama and I quickly decided I might be better served getting my natal-word-of-the-day from reading a parenting book thanfrom this near-hands on experience. So we headed out to find more fair grub and fun.

Next year will be PuddleBaby's first fair, and we can't wait! Can a six month old eat cheese curds?