Count to Five!

PuddleMama is still late- and the pregnancy test still ends up with only one pink line (negative.) Every day that goes by she is still "late" ups the excitement, and each pregnancy test with one pink line is disheartening.

HPT's (Home Pregnancy Tests) are one of those things you take for granted before you are depending on one to reveal one of the most important changes in your life.

The commercials for HPT's make you think they are 99.999% accurate. I started reading the box of an HPT test today, and did a few google searches. What I found was that HPT's, like most things in life, are much more complicated then they appear on a 30 second commercial.

What I found:

• All HPT's detect a single hormone, which is present only during a pregnancy
• HPT's are 99.x% effective at detecting said hormone. This does not mean 99.x% of woman taking an HPT will get the correct result for their respective condition. This is an important difference.
• The directions for the last HPT PuddleMama took had several interesting instructions, including how long you expose the HPT to the test fluid (that's a fancy way of saying "pee")- exactly five seconds. This instruction was both bolded and underlined. Under five seconds you risk not enough exposure of the HPT to the detectable hormone. More than five seconds risks oversaturation and wash out.
• Some HPT's claim they can detect the hormone up to four days before a scheduled period. Although if you read the fine print, the chances of an HPT properly detecting that early are about as good as flipping a coin. Eight to ten days after a missed period is ideal for detecting the hormone.
• The morning is the best chance to detect the hormone

I found an interesting, and frightening study from google about HPT's:

http://archfami.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/7/5/465

The point is I asked PuddleMama to count to five. She came pretty close, but I would hesitate to say she hit it exactly.

I test software for a living. HPT's take one input, and have only two possible outputs. I wish the software I tested were as simplistic. The progams I test are infinitely more complex in terms of inputs and outputs, but I do not envy the job of an HPT Quality Assurance Engineer. The stakes are too high, and the results are more unpredictable than even Microsoft software.

I've decided that a future testing strategy is needed. It's pretty simple actually, especially considering all the thinking, googling, and box reading it took to reach. Do not take a pregnancy test before 10 days after a missed period. It does take some self control, but it will save an unnecessary wave of emotions.

The last thing I asked PuddleMama tonight was- "Forget about the tests, listen to your body. Do you think you are pregnant?" She said "Yes" immediately. She has been having some headaches and other unusual symptoms, and she can not recall a single late period in all her bloomed years. Regular as a swiss timepiece.

So, if she is pregnant the lesson is obvious- listen and trust your body, and not some poorly manufactured, over-promising piece of plastic.

I'm hoping understanding the limitations of HPT's will not be important to me in several months, but I do wish I would have had understanding of the limitations several weeks ago.