GD

Last Tuesday PuddleMama took a screening test for Gestational Diabetes. The screening returned a higher than normal level of sugar in the blood, and so we had an extended test on Friday. Unfortunately, the results show that PuddleMama has Gestational Diabetes (GD.)

I won't go into depth on this posting about the details, but here is a brief summary. The placenta in pregnant women blocks the natural production of insulin. Pregnant women may need to make up to three times the normal amount of insulin to keep all blood levels normal. In some pregnant women, the body isn't able to keep up with this increased demand, and the result is GD.

GD has several negative affects on the mama and baby. Increased risk of diabetes for both mother and child exist later in life, the baby can be "big" because its getting too much sugar (the baby loves Gummies already- just like it's mama) which could cause labor difficulties, and the baby is at an increased risk for jaundice and breathing issues because the little stinker's kidneys are working harder than they should be.

Fortunately, the condition is very treatable and the diagnosis will help us keep everyone healthy. Here is a link I found on GD if you want to read a bit more about it:

http://www.diabetes.org/gestational-diabetes.jsp

We don't meet with a specialist until early January, but the interwebs has given us some reassuring information. We are planning to eat healthier and track intake. Diet and exercise can in most cases control the issue.

It's of course troubling to both PuddleMama and I, but we still are grateful that in the big scheme of things it could be a lot worse.

On a more positive note, I felt (and even saw) the biggest kick ever this morning. PuddleBaby is going to be a NFL kicker, I know it.

Names

On our way up to Duluth for a family Thanksgiving with my folks and brothers PuddleMama and I began to discuss a few potentail names for PuddleBaby. Well, I'm not going to share any of the favorites, but after throwing back names for an hour the conversation began to degrade to names of whatever we saw on the road: "Fir Tree Kleczka", "Stop Sign Kleczka", "Giant Voyageur Kleczka", etc. You get the idea. We were also inspired by the thought that the babies name should reflect something significant from our pasts. I thought I'd share some of the "better" ones:

Boof Kleczka: This was the only name that the baby actually kicked PuddleMama hard when I said (or shouted...) obviously meaning PuddleBaby loved the name (PuddleMama thought that it was displeasure with the name instead of excitement. Pish.)

Old Mexico Kleczka: Old Mexico (the restaurant) has a solid place in family history already, as both the site of our wedding rehearsal dinner and also the lucky spot where PuddleMama first took the positive pregnancy test for PuddleBaby. Yes, she took the test at Old Mexico (Walgreens had no public bathrooms, but that's okay- I much prefer Old Mexico Kleczka to Walgreens Kleczka.)

Cabo San Lucas Kleczka: Where we took our honeymoon.

Ted Splendid Splinter Kleczka: See previous blog post (if you don't know what I'm talking about here is a hint- look at the blog posts labeled with the "Photos" keyword.

Pacarrie Kleczka: Celebrity couple name, appropriate for a female PuddleBaby.

Capaul Kleczka: Celebrity couple name, appropriate for a male PuddleBaby.

Clancy Kleczka: Kinda like a reverse Indiana Jones scenario.

The Kleczka: Props to my oldest PuddleBrother for this suggestion. Brilliant. "The" also could be a middle appropriate for just about any first name (i.e. "Pacarrie the Kleczka.")

There ya have it. Send me any "suggestions" for names, and I promise PuddleMama and I will take it very seriously.

Oh, on an unrelated note- PuddleMama signed us up for a baby class and a breast-feeding class. She sent me Outlook calendar invites so that my boss knows not to schedule any important meetings during breasty time. The classes aren't till January, but you can start looking forward to a few "explicit" blog posts right now.

Who we mourning? (and other tidbits)

Well more than one of you has chided me for a lack of posts lately. I have no excuses, and hope the four of you out there who actually read this blog didn't give up on me (well, I know PuddleMama, PuddleMama's mama, and my mama didn't give up, so if anyone else is reading this.... Thanks!)

I've been creating a lot of documentation, presentation type material at work the past few weeks, and by far my favorite tool of this type of trade is the bullet-pointed list. In fact, I just modified my profile and added "bullet-pointed lists" to my interests (right between baseball and cigars.)

So in that vein, I figured I'd catch everyone up (all four of you) on the latest developments using.... a bullet-pointed list. Here we go:

• Latest prenatal appointment was yesterday. Everything looked good. Apparently the placenta is a little low, but is not enough of a concern to even warrant another ultrasound (a low placenta could potentially cover PuddleBaby's escape route come evacuation time requiring a c-section type rescue, but this is a long shot.)
• Next appointment PuddleMama has to drink "glucola" before a Gestational Diabetes test. The term "glucola" tickled our funny bones, which registered a blank stare from the nurse. Not to be denied, PuddleMama asked the nurse if "glucola" came in diet (without aspartame of course.) The blank stare continued. Carrie and I hope we get the other nurse next time.
• I FELT THE BABY MOVE! Last weekend at my brother's house I was falling asleep with my arm across PuddleMama's belly. I felt a definite kick on my forearm, and the next night I felt another kick. PuddleMama can even *see* her belly move occasionally now, although I haven't seen this alien experience yet.
• PuddleMama was contemplating a belly photo shoot yesterday. If I convince her to show her beautiful belly I'll be sure to post it on the Internet immediately. Immediately.
• PuddleMama says goodbye to me every morning before she leaves. I tell her to spin around and I tell her how beautiful she is and I fall back asleep. I'm usually about 3/4 asleep and the room is dark, but I noticed this morning that I couldn't remember seeing her in any color other than black lately. I asked her today if she was mourning someone, and if so why wasn't I made aware of this sooner. She told me black was slimming, which is probably why people still refuse to give up their seats on the bus for her. If you ask me, having a big belly when you are pregnant is ideal, and I wish PuddleMama just wore tight tank tops every day.
• Speaking of, PuddleMama is deathly afraid her belly-button will turn into an outie. It is trending that direction, but so far the turkey-timer has not popped. If it does, I will update the blog immediately. Immediately.
• We visited our good friends and their month old baby tonight, and were greeted with a bunch of poop stories.
• Dang their baby was cute though. I held her for awhile (don't worry, I was sitting the whole time and I didn't move a muscle) and looking at those tiny TINY fingernails for some reason made me so excited for every moment of PuddleBaby's life.
• Except for the poop stuff.
• I was considering a post "Pregnant Lady at Thanksgiving" in the same light as "Pregnant Lady at the State Fair" but I think this bullet-point will provide the appropriate image, and besides, I'm still trying to convince PuddleMama to do that belly shot.
• Warning: Shameless plug. We registered at Target and Babies 'R Us.
• Registering at Babies 'R Us made me feel like I was joining a cult. The 20 minute registering to register session (initiation) was creepy, and the suggestion to register for over 200 items (to make sure the shower guests all had something to buy) was downright laughable after registering for approximately 30 items in 3 hours at Target.
• Don't worry, none of the bullet-pointed lists I create at work have this many bullets, or this much detail per bullet. I just felt in my very own blog I could splurge.
• I'm a bit disappointed that I've only seen two user-filed comments on my blog, and one of those I removed because it was a spam-bot posted advertisement for a personal dating site. I'm not sure I can count that as reader number five....

PuddleDoggy Halloween

PuddleMama can't wait till she can dress up PuddleBaby for Halloween. If you don't believe, get a load of what she does to PuddleDoggy:

Well it must be a girl....

I heard from some very reliable and knowledgeable sources last night that true athletes have daughters, not sons. Well, combine that fact with my strike-out-to-walk ratio as a pitcher on my Thursday night St. Paul fall-ball slow-pitch D-league softball team and the result is a foregone conclusion...

PuddleBaby wants to be a.....for Halloween!

PuddleBaby, although shy about his/her privates, was not shy at all about what he/she wanted to be for Halloween. I'm not quite sure how PuddleBaby got the skeleton mask into the uterus, but pictures don't lie:

After showing off the costume, PuddleBaby proudly displayed a pointy chin (definitely a trait from PuddleMama's side of the family:)

After proving she was indeed PuddleMama's offspring, PuddleBaby was getting a little surly and showed us his/her dukes. Put 'em up!

And finally, after even more intense ultrasounding, PuddleBaby had had enough and gave us the full moon:

Not even out of the womb and PuddleBaby can moon like a true member of the family. We are so proud.

Poll has been reopened!

That's right! If you were tardy getting your vote in you now have more time.

We had an ultrasound appointment today and PuddleBaby did its best to hide its goods. PuddleBaby is a bashful little bugger. On the bright side PuddleBaby did have two arms, two legs, a pointy chin, a nose, a spine, eye-sockets, a kidney, a brain stem, and some other goodies as well (and everything except for the eye-sockets I mistook for a ding-dong.)

I'll post some of the ultrasound pics soon!

Dirty Politicking!

Only 4 days left to vote for "Boy" or "Girl."

"Boy" initially got off to a strong lead, but because of some dirty politicking and negative campaiging the race is now too close to call. The polls show this race could go down to the last vote.

Remember, the specific radio-box you select is not as important as the simple fact that you vote.

UPDATE: 3 days to go and now "Girl" has pulled ahead. Now I absolutely know that dirty politicking has been going on! This is the greatest comeback since last night's Sox-Ray's game.

Just Me and My Dad

According to the our prenatal resources, PuddleBaby could hear external sounds this week! We designated last Saturday as the first day the baby could hear, which must have been quite a spectacular first day since PuddleMama and I were whooping it up in Duluth with my family. Lucky baby.

So tonight I read PuddleBaby his first book, "Just Me and My Dad" by Mercer Meyer (an author I fondly remember from my own youth.) It's about a camping trip. My favorite part is when the bear steals the fish dinner they caught in the river, with an owl looking on. I wonder what PuddleBaby's favorite part will be.

I was just thinking today about camping with the little bugger. PuddleMama is not the most avid outdoors woman, and so I figure I will have to read "Just Me and My Dad" many times to this kid to subconsciously ingrain how much fun camping is with dad. I'm willing to brainwash my kid so I always have someone to go camping, fishing, or kayaking with.

Katie Helen

Until the day I was born, my name was destined to be "Katie Helen." A lovely name, yes, but fortunately my parents took mercy once they counted to 21 and named me more appropriately. My mother was certain I was a girl, or at the very least had a "preference" for one. Although my little pecker provided a minor disappointment (wow could that sentence be embarressing taken out of context) my mother has assured me she still loved (loves) me........... Even if I was dressed up in little girl clothes on more than one occasion (note all occurrences before I had a say in the matter.)

Anyway, a hot topic is whether PuddleMama and I will find out the sex before the birth. The answer is yes, on October 21st. The results will be posted here immediately, so check back soon. In the meantime, PuddleMama and I have gone through a series of home tests, to give any curious souls who can't wait another month an indication which way the fates are pointing. Once you have reviewed the facts, be sure to vote your feeling with the poll on the right!


Chinese Lunar Chart
A chart was found in an ancient royal tomb near Beijing, and is said to be over 90% accurate in predicting sex. Result is based on age of mother (26) and month of conception (June.)
GIRL

Hang a wedding ring on a string over mother's belly.
Pendulum motion = Boy, Circular motion = Girl
BOY (Even when PuddleMama tried to hold it!)

Where is the extra weight on the mother?
Out front = Boy. Hips and bottom = Girl.
BOY

How fast is the hair on the mother's legs growing?
More quickly = Boy, No change = Girl
BOY (ICK!)

Where is the baby being carried?
Low = Boy, High = Girl
BOY

How cold are the mother's feet?
Colder = Boy, No Change = Girl
GIRL

Which direction is the mother's pillow at night- north or south facing?
North = Boy, South = Girl
BOY

Does the mother refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
GIRL

Is the father gaining weight along with the mother?
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
GIRL

What is the maternal grandmother's hair color?
Gray = Boy, Other = Girl
GIRL

Did the mother have morning sickness?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
BOY

Does the mother look particularly good during pregnancy? (Girls steal their mother's looks)
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
INCONCLUSIVE (PuddleDaddy and PuddleMama had mixed opinions- obviously PuddleDaddy predicts a boy based on this test)

Has the mother's chest development been dramatic?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
GIRL (YES!)

Is the mother's urine bright neon or dull yellow?
Bright neon = Boy, Dull yellow = Girl
GIRL

Has the mother been craving sweets more or salty/sour more?
Salty/Sour = Boy, Sweets = Girl
BOY

Has the mother been craving meats/cheese or fruit more?
Meats/Cheese = Boy, Fruit = Girl
GIRL

Has the mother's nose spread during pregnancy?
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
GIRL

Is the baby's heart rate above or below 140 beats / minute
Below = Boy, Above = Girl
GIRL

Has the mother been craving orange juice every day?
No = Boy, Yes = Girl
GIRL

Is the mother having headaches?
Yes = Boy, No = Girl
BOY

Does the mother's abdomen look more like a watermelon or a basketball?
Basketball = Boy, Watermelon = Girl
GIRL

Mix the mother's urine with Drano.
Brownish Color = Boy, Clear = Girl
INCONCLUSIVE (See previous post, test not performed for safety reasons)


TOTALS:
Girl = 12 (54.5%)
Boy = 8 (36.5%)
Inconclusive = 2 (9%)
Margin of Error = +/- 100%


PuddleMama was satisfied with these results. I'm a bit more skeptical. If you know any other home tests to try, send me a note and we'll add 'em to the list. We'll use this post as a benchmark for the next kiddo that comes along...

Just say YES

PuddleMama has started to talk about classes. I'm all for taking a class or two, especially if it's at the hospital so we can start to learn our way around. Then she brought up "Breast Feeding" class and my willingness for classes began to waver. I mean, wouldn't I make everyone (and by everyone I mean everyone besides PuddleMama) uncomfortable? Do other expectant mothers really want some random dude around while the teacher explains how to use a $300 breast pump? Are there going to be other expectant fathers staring at the same floor corner as I am? (This room better have enough corners!) I am not trying to belittle the class- I heard it can be a very informative and useful experience. I am only questioning my place in said class.

Having thought about it a bit more, I've decided in good conscience I can't say no. In fact, I need to do more than go, I need to fully and whole-heartily participate. I've already started coming up with a list of questions:

1. What are good methods for "pumping-and-dumping" while on the go?
2. If we run out of 1%, can PuddleMama's milk get us through till Wednesday?
3. What can I do as a father to maximize the milk production factory?
4. How do I not look tired and cranky when I'm really tired and cranky as I sit up with PuddleMama in the middle of the night?
5. Breast feeding is a beautiful experience and I can stare all I want. RIGHT?!

Now, I can almost hear the male readers groaning and thinking my first response (reluctance) was right on- why the heck would I be caught dead in that class? Well, I've consciously decided that I'm "all in" on this deal. Not to get too sappy, but this is my family, and it's that damn important. "I don't want to have any regrets" is often overused. I won't go as far as saying anything that pretentious. I will say, if I have regrets I want it to be because I was too involved, and I did too much- not the other way around.

I can catch the baby as it shoots out? Sign me up. Do I want to cut the umbilical cord myself? You betcha. Do I want to mix PuddleMama's pee with Drano to see if we're having a boy or a girl? Uhm.... well.... YES! Breast feeding class? Easy- Wednesday's work best for me.

Besides, the more stories I have to absolutely embarrass PuddleBaby with as he grows the better (or as she grows, Drano test still pending.)

UPDATE: Apparently the Drano test is considered quite dangerous- surprisingly, mixing urine and Drano can create potentially toxic and explosive results (a fact I am glad no one told me when I was in high school.) Unless we can find a chemical engineer with a safe lab we may pass on this test, so that may not have been the best example for my "Just say YES" post, but you get the idea.

one fitty

PuddleMama had a monthly checkup today and Doc found the heartbeat immediately. One fitty! Everything looks good, with only a little concern over some headaches PuddleMama has been having. Hopefully they won't get worse.

Next month is ultrasound and the chance to narrow our pool of potential names by approximately one half. Stay tuned.

F.A.Q.

PuddleBaby F.A.Q.

1. OMG!? You're having a baby?!
Yes, we are very excited.

2. When is the little bug due?!
Early March. The experts have narrowed it down to between March 1 and March 9. We're hoping for St. Patty's day- wouldn't that be cool?

3. Are you going to find out early if it's a boy or a girl?
Yes.

4. Oh that's too bad... Don't you want it to be a surprise?
We have considered our options carefully and are excited to find out early, but thank you for your opinion.

5. OMG!! A baby! Aren't you excited?!
See F.A.Q #1.

6. What are you going to name him/her?
We will look more closely at names once we know the sex, but we will not be discussing names with others (I really don't want to know how you knew a "Sally" in grade school who used to eat her boogers.)

7. I really like the name.....
We are considering our options carefully, but again thank you for your opinion.

8. Do you want a boy or a girl?
Of course we'd be thrilled with either. PuddleMama has designs on a girl. I would like a boy first, so someday he can help protect his little sister(s) against those high school boys (I'll need all the help I can get.)

9. Your townhouse isn't the best for kids. Are you going to move soon?
Yes, we are hoping to move within the next year, but most likely after the little pooper arrives. If you or anyone you know is looking for a great deal on a fabulous 2 bedroom/2.5 bath townhouse in Shoreview let us know.

10. My little [PuddleDaddy/PuddleMama] is having a baby?! I can't believe it! Are you excited?!
See F.A.Q. #5 and #1.

11. Do you know how hard it is? Do you know your life is totally going to change?! Say goodbye to sleep!
Obviously we are unaware of the true extent of how exactly this will change our lives, this being our first child and all. However, we have heard from concerned observers that extensive and dramatic changes are forthcoming. The same observers have also noted that it is "totally worth it."

12. What hospital are you having the baby at?
We currently believe the stinker will be born at United Hospital in downtown St. Paul.

13. Can I rub your belly? (This one is generally only directed at PuddleMama)
Since you asked nicely, yes (if you're not a creep-o.)

14. How have you been feeling? (Again, mostly to PuddleMama)
Tired, but good. PuddleMama had only very minor morning sickness.

15. Have you had any sympathy pains? (This one to PuddleDaddy)
I am a very sensitive person. I have had every sympathy pain in the book, even prenatal pains PuddleMama hasn't yet experienced. You should have seen the "morning sickness" the day after my birthday party. I don't remember ever being that sensitive before.

16. Are your parents excited?
This will be the first grandchild for both sets of parents. "Excited" would be an understatement.

$280 for a....

BREAST PUMP?!

I knew there would be some expensive items in this whole baby adventure, but in my simple, inexperienced mind I had put "breast pump" in the range of prices of a small household appliance (maybe a blender or humidifier.) This thing better double as a beer kegerator.

Ouch.

Heartbeat!

PuddleMama was a little tiffed I didn't mention this in the blog earlier, but we heard PuddleBaby's heartbeat last week, and it was fantastic! I know all you random blog-readers were eagerly anticipating that announcement...

Pregnant Lady at the State Fair

PuddleMama and I eagerly anticipate the Minnesota State Fair every year, but this year a special vibe radiated the pre-game conversations. PuddleMamam is in her second trimester now, early enough to not feel too encumbered and overheated, but late enough to be past most of the nausea more common in early pregnancy. We're also still well in the zone of cravings and hunger. The result? A perfect, deep-fried, storm on-a-stick!

Veggie Fries, ice cream cones, pronto-pups, cheese-on-a-stick, cheese curds, and of course some Sweet Martha's! Mmmmmmm......

After we got our fill, I thought it was appropriate that we visit the birthing center, which despite my many previous state fair visits, I had never experienced. I figured I could pick up some pointers, learn some new vocabulary, and get a little more acclimated to the idea of the actual birth (only about six months away!)

As we strolled though pens of pregnant chickens, cows, sheep, and miniature horses PuddleMama and I became excited when we saw a good-sized pig that looked about ready to spit out some piglets (see what I mean about needing a vocabulary lesson?) Anyway, you might ask how we knew this miracle was about to happen. I'll tell you honestly, it was because a lady near the rear end of the pig had an arm covered in plastic deep insde and digging around in you know where.

Well, let's just say I didn't have to hold back a tear (more like a gag) when instead of a cute bouncy little pink Wilbur she pulled out a decidedly not cute, bouncy, bloody placenta. Maybe it's more miraculous if you see the piglets getting pulled out first.

After this little life lesson, PuddleMama and I quickly decided I might be better served getting my natal-word-of-the-day from reading a parenting book thanfrom this near-hands on experience. So we headed out to find more fair grub and fun.

Next year will be PuddleBaby's first fair, and we can't wait! Can a six month old eat cheese curds?

Daddy Training

Well it's my birthday (the last one before I officially become a father and turn 30!) That said, I need to live it up! It certainly started off with a bang (or should I say a "phfffffft.") PuddleDoggy decided to give me a special present- daddy training.

Last night he developed a pretty severe case of diarrhea and has been going every 1-2 hours since, which means I haven't slept much. In addition, as a birthday bonus, I just learned how to take a stool sample, which most days I don't think would be that bad (after all, I do pick up his poop daily) but considering.... Okay, I'll stop and leave the more "juicy" details out.

Anyway, on the bright(er) side, PuddleDoggy has been awesome. He has been telling us he needs to go out and the only casualty so far has been the front door rug, which PuddleDoggy had an accident on before we really know what was going on. (Knock on wood.)

We are worried about the little guy- I don't know how he has anything left in the tank. We're leaving for the vet in a few minutes.

UPDATE: Back from the vet, and PuddleDoggy has "Bacterial Overgrowth with clostridium." Actually for the alternatives, this diagnosis didn't sound too bad. He got a shot of antibiotics and some pills and he has to fast for the next day or so, followed by eating only crackers. He's going to love that. Doc said he'd be feeling like himself in a day or two (for a vet bill of $150 I do have to wonder if he would have felt like himself in a day or two anyway... oh well, better safe than sorry.)

Old Hat (or, Prenatal Appointment, The Sequel)

PuddleMama and I had our second prenatal appointment today. And like the old story goes, the sequel didn't quite live up to the original.

Unfortunately, we came up short on our bid to hear the heartbeat ("came up short on our bid" <--- can you tell I've been watching a little bit too much Olympics.) It is apparently very common to not be able to find the heartbeat this early, the little bug being only the size of a plum. The physician told us some of her colleagues won't even try this early, in fear of upsetting overly hormonal, gassy, pregneant ladies. We were happy with the attempt and are looking to train hard for a comeback in 4 weeks (we'll settle for nothing less than gold!)

Anyway, PuddleMama's insides did generate some quite fantastic static (no wonder she's been a bit gassy- who wouldn't with all that static inside!)

Weight, blood pressure, and all the other vitals were looking fabulous, with only a small warning flag coming up around PuddleMama's immunity to German Measles. Keep your sick kid away! One more thing to add to the no-no list: alcohol, caffeine, undercooked meats, and now little rug-rats with German Measles.

Gotta go- Phelps is about to swim!

Ultrasound Appt.

PuddleMama had her first ultrasound last week (proudly displayed in the previous post.) Our friends go to the same clinic, and warned us about an angry Eastern European nurse who permits no questions during the ultrasound and otherwise behaves quite rudely. This surprised me, since I would think that taking ultrasounds of babies would bring such happiness to the soon-to-be-parents that the nurse would *have* to be constantly happy. *shrug* Accordingly, I prepared several smart-aleck retorts ahead of time, preparing to let the nurse know how excited and happy we were no matter how rude she was to us, especially since this is our first baby. Much to my dismay, we actually got a very nice nurse, and my retorts were not needed (although I am keeping them in the bank for next time just in case.)

We saw the heartbeat! The ultrasound picture does not do justice to the experience because it is just a still shot. Maybe future ultrasound technologies will spit out cheap memory cards so the couple can share the heartbeat with others (or maybe I should have been smart enough to take a video with my cell phone...) ANYWAY, the heart-beat was quite spectacular, and was beating a rate of 171.85 beats per minute. Dang, that little bug is workin'!

PuddleMama took the high heart rate as further proof of a bloomin' young girl, but my ma said I had a fast heartbeat as well.

The experience was extra-special to us for a very sad reason- PuddleMama's grandmother passed away suddenly last week. Obviously very hard for PuddleMama and PuddleMama's mama, the finality of passing away and the end of life on this earth made the beginning of our little bug's life seem that much more amazing. PuddleMama delcared her Grandma as PuddleBaby's guardian angel. Even though we haven't met PuddleBaby yet, I think we both definitely saw more than a bit of her Grandmother's spirit in that heartbeat.

Do you think PuddleBaby looks more like me or PuddleMama?!

Olives. Jumping.

PuddleBaby is now the size of an olive and has officially graduated from an "embryo" to a "fetus." We are so proud of the little fruit!

I had a dream last night that PuddleMama and I, holding hands, jumped off the top of a skyscraper together... Hmm.... I don't think I need a dream manual to look up the symbolism on that one...

First Prenatal Visit

PuddleMama is in the eighth week of pregnancy, and today we went for our first prenatal visit today. Of course this being our first child, neither of us have experienced a prenatal visit before. However, I felt at a decided disadvantage because not only was I experiencing my first prenatal visit, I was experiencing my first ever doctor appointment in general that included things like "pap smear", "breast exam", clamps, "external palpation", or the "tool." Wow.

Questions were asked, exams were given, blood was taken, and more appointments were scheduled (including an ultrasound in two weeks!) Everything appears to be healthy as of now, although for some reason I expected to feel more confident about that fact after the appointment. Maybe this is because for most of the appointment I stared intently at the corner of the room away from where the exam was being done.

We are pumped for the ultrasound in two weeks, even if the appointment is at 7:15 a.m.

Sympathy Peeing?!

I read in the PB that reportedly 60% of men have "sympathy symptoms" to match their partner's "pregnancy symptoms." I'm not sure how you arrive at 60%. Dealing with your partner's very real "pregnancy symptoms" should push this number to 100%, easy, if only considering "fatigue."

The one symptom that I did not expect to gain no matter how "sympathetic" I was was extra peeing. Several times over the last week I've gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. I *never* get up in the middle of the night. Huh. I guess I'm a *real* sensitive, sympathetic dude.

Is it too early to be thinking about (nick) names?

If not, PuddleBaby now the size of a blueberry, already has a nickname besides PuddleBaby. The Splendid Splinter. Yes, we fully expect PuddleBaby to hit a baseball (softball) like the great beantown slugger Ted Williams, but the nickname is not derived by dreams of the future pro's hitting potential.

A picture would definitely help explain the nickname better:

Yes, PuddleMama and I believe this happened on a certain night which would have made any splinter splendid, but the really splendid part is not the splinter itself but how it splintered. I would definitely be more hesitant to post such a picture if the splinter had happened on one corner, but the fact the board splintered down the middle the entire length of the side board just amazes me. How did we do that?!

Our bed is now propped up on over a dozen books, and is holding (mostly) steady.

Blueberry, Splendid Splinter, PuddleBaby... There are a even few more nicknames that PuddleMama and I came up with but we're keeping to ourselves for now- they hint too closely to the names that are early favorites for placement on the actual birth certificate.

Of course, I'll keep this blog up to date with any new names we are considering. Well, at least any we are considering for nicknames...

PuddleDoggy's new digs...

PuddleDoggy is going to be the one to break the news to mom and dad. I can't wait.

(In case it's not completely clear, it says "Mommy's knocked up, I'm going to be a big brother.")

Who needs HPT's when you have...

1. Mood swings: Two hour bachelorette episode (not even the finale)- three separate "cryings" and I'm fairly certain one was triggered by a commercial. I'm also considering banning dvr'ed episodes of Beverly Hills 90210.
2. Nesting: PuddleMama is usually in bed by 10, sleeping by 10:30. So you can see why I thought it was alarming when she was carrying year old magazines out to the trash at 11:00 p.m. I had heard about this so called "nesting" before but I didn't think it would kick in quite so quickly.
3. Breast Changes: Or more accurately from my point of view- complaining of breast changes. I'll stop short of naming any specifics, but not all seem that bad from where I'm sitting.
4. Ice Cream Cravings: PuddleMama has always enjoyed ice cream, but not *that* much.
5. Fatigue: Yes, dealing with all the above has brought me to the point of collapse, but in this case I mean fatigue in PuddleMama.

We received a more official "positive" test result from the clinic today, which is certainly nice, but as you can tell I had a pretty good idea of the status already.

I also learned that PuddleMama is officially in her 5th week of the pregnancy, which seems illogical and even ridiculous because the first two weeks of pregnancy do not require *any* sort of male participation. Apparently it is just an easier way to accurately track development from start (or pre-start?) to finish.

And despite a bit more of symptom #1 above for PuddleMama, the smile has yet to leave my face.

PREGNANT!

That's right! PuddleMama is pregnant! WOO-HOO!

We are so excited! After finding out, PuddleMama immediately asked me take her to the bookstore to buy the "pregnancy bible" and we came home and told PuddleDoggy, who promptly celebrated by eating a rawhide he's been hiding around the house for weeks.

I have so much to write about now, especially since I've been holding back on this blog in order to temper expectations and prevent jinx's. For now, just know that we both can't wipe the smiles of our face (well, except for a little emotional roller-coaster'ing in PuddleMama, but the PB (pregnancy bible) tells us this is completely normal.....)

Time for bed... And yes, the George Costanza line "My boys can swim!" *has* been running through my head since PuddleMama told me.

O fer

Another month gone, and nothing to report. O fer 3. Actually, pretty certain that will climb to O fer 4 since I'll be in the U.K. visiting a friend (without PuddleMama) during prime baby-making time.

Round Two

Round two is over and PuddleMama is still not pregnant. The emotions were certainly more tempered this time around. I have hesitated writing any blog-posts, mostly because of just that- there simply isn't as much to write about (for this particular blog anyway.)

I also don't want to obsess as much- certainly not as much as I had been. I do feel more patient and content to let it happen as it will. I don't know what allowed this change to happen, if it is just necessity or something more.

I do know PuddleMama and I have only one more shot for a tax break in 2008. Where is that remote....?

Boom...

Boom shick-a woww-woww!!!

*sigh*

PuddleMama's period began yesterday. There is some disappointment of course, but mostly we feel relief that we know something more definite. We fired up the ovulation calendar, and the "Make a Baby" button is still working as expected, so we'll be just fine (although PuddleMama may make a doctor visit because of the wierdness lately to confirm everything is good.)

Of course, the last few weeks have taught both PuddleMama and myself a few things. Time for another forced bullet-list:

• I only feel akward for about 5 seconds when typing or saying "period" instead of completely avoiding the term as I did a few weeks ago
• HPT's are a bit more complicated than we thought
• Patience is key to not riding an emotional roller-coaster- wait 8-10 days to take an HPT after a missed period (I only felt akward for about 4 seconds that time!)

There was definitely more, but those were the three most important in my book (or should I say in my blog...)

Still....

Still late... Still negative...

Count to Five!

PuddleMama is still late- and the pregnancy test still ends up with only one pink line (negative.) Every day that goes by she is still "late" ups the excitement, and each pregnancy test with one pink line is disheartening.

HPT's (Home Pregnancy Tests) are one of those things you take for granted before you are depending on one to reveal one of the most important changes in your life.

The commercials for HPT's make you think they are 99.999% accurate. I started reading the box of an HPT test today, and did a few google searches. What I found was that HPT's, like most things in life, are much more complicated then they appear on a 30 second commercial.

What I found:

• All HPT's detect a single hormone, which is present only during a pregnancy
• HPT's are 99.x% effective at detecting said hormone. This does not mean 99.x% of woman taking an HPT will get the correct result for their respective condition. This is an important difference.
• The directions for the last HPT PuddleMama took had several interesting instructions, including how long you expose the HPT to the test fluid (that's a fancy way of saying "pee")- exactly five seconds. This instruction was both bolded and underlined. Under five seconds you risk not enough exposure of the HPT to the detectable hormone. More than five seconds risks oversaturation and wash out.
• Some HPT's claim they can detect the hormone up to four days before a scheduled period. Although if you read the fine print, the chances of an HPT properly detecting that early are about as good as flipping a coin. Eight to ten days after a missed period is ideal for detecting the hormone.
• The morning is the best chance to detect the hormone

I found an interesting, and frightening study from google about HPT's:

http://archfami.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/7/5/465

The point is I asked PuddleMama to count to five. She came pretty close, but I would hesitate to say she hit it exactly.

I test software for a living. HPT's take one input, and have only two possible outputs. I wish the software I tested were as simplistic. The progams I test are infinitely more complex in terms of inputs and outputs, but I do not envy the job of an HPT Quality Assurance Engineer. The stakes are too high, and the results are more unpredictable than even Microsoft software.

I've decided that a future testing strategy is needed. It's pretty simple actually, especially considering all the thinking, googling, and box reading it took to reach. Do not take a pregnancy test before 10 days after a missed period. It does take some self control, but it will save an unnecessary wave of emotions.

The last thing I asked PuddleMama tonight was- "Forget about the tests, listen to your body. Do you think you are pregnant?" She said "Yes" immediately. She has been having some headaches and other unusual symptoms, and she can not recall a single late period in all her bloomed years. Regular as a swiss timepiece.

So, if she is pregnant the lesson is obvious- listen and trust your body, and not some poorly manufactured, over-promising piece of plastic.

I'm hoping understanding the limitations of HPT's will not be important to me in several months, but I do wish I would have had understanding of the limitations several weeks ago.

late, but...

PuddleMama is a few days late, but she has taken three pregnancy tests and all have come back negative. We think her cycle may just be getting back in whack after she stopped taking the pill. She said she is normally predictable not only to the day, but to the time of day. As I noted in the previous post, it is difficult to balance excitement and desire with having realistic expectations. So much so I hesitate to add blog entries- of repeated excitement or repeated disapointment- in order to temper either emotion until something more defined happens.

Belly Button Babies

When considering where babies came from, I never believed anything as silly as Storks dropping laughing infants off on doorsteps in the middle of the night. Maybe if I had grown up in South Carolina or Florida, or maybe if the myth had been about seagulls, which growing up in Duluth had made me intimately familiar with, I would have bought into the common story.

However, through my own tike logic and hearing terms like "sleeping together" I did solidly believe that a little miniature baby crawled out of the dad's belly button, across the bed, into the mom's belly button, where it grew for awhile. What else would belly buttons be for? Of course, the little baby being so little, it took a solid nights sleep for the baby to make it all the way out of the papa belly button into the mama belly button. All while mama and papa slept soundly.

The question of why a baby wasn't formed every night mama and papa slept soundly never crossed my mind. I never wondered what the chances of a belly button baby completing the voyage actually were. It just happened.

Of course, sex-ed and society in general soon bombarded me with answers to that very question. As I learned the real basics of the seagulls and the bees, so was I soon convinced that even being in the same swimming pool with a girl created a good chance I was going to be a teen dad that never would go to college (not to mention the unfortunate uncurable condition I would acquire.)

I'm certainly not trying to claim that this idea was bad for me, or any hormonal teenager, to have. Teen logic without these scare tactics would have served nearly as well as tike logic in preventing an unwanted pregnancy.

It is interesting, though, when you really begin desiring and planning for a baby how perceptions change. It's hard to shed the implanted idea it will happen instantly. It is equally hard to hear all the sad stories of the couples that have trouble conceiving at all, let alone instantly...

I have heard that it is perfectly normal for a healthy couple to take up to a year to get pregnant. Well, for now PuddleMama and I try to balance patience and excitement. And I figure it won't hurt to jump in a swimming pool with her during the peak of her luteal phase or to make sure both our belly buttons are exposed before we fall asleep....

Make a Baby Button

Santa gave me a universal remote for Xmas. It's great- one button sets up my entire system to play the Wii, watch a blu-ray movie on the PS3, watch TV, or even raise or lower my window blinds.

You may wonder what this has to do with being a father. Well... Yesterday I created a "Make a Baby" activity. No it won't automagically complete games of patty-cake, but it will with a single button click turn on my receiver and turn it to channel 408- R&B Hits. Hot.

First Baby Picture

Although admittedly I am only an expert of failed blogs, I do know that all-text blogs become boring and forced bullet-pointed lists are not enough to effectively distract the reader from bad writing. Any blog worth its weight certainly contains pictures, so I have decided to provide the first baby photo:

Can you see PuddleBaby?! Quite a looker, egh?

'Roids (not the Barry Bonds kind)

Let this be the first official post (I'm certain of many) declaring my relief that my part in the biological aspects of having a baby are limited to a Roger Rabbit style game of patty-cake.

PuddleMama discovered in a conversation with a new mother-to-be this weekend how prominent that hemorrhoids can be during pregnancy. Luckily, this has not changed her mind about our games of patty-cake...

Just a Twinkle in PuddleDaddy's Eyes

The question has certainly come to mind whether starting a blog on being a father before PuddleMama is actually pregnant may be a bit premature. Of course, for the same reasons most pregnancies do not become common knowledge before the second trimester, I will not generally publicize this humble blog for awhile still. So anyone reading the blog who believes I was premature can be consoled by the fact the prematureness is no longer an issue.

Still, I feel I must justify such an early start. I could argue that it is late to begin such a blog. I certainly have already had many experiences in my life that could be argued were the start of my understanding of fatherhood (of course "blogging" did not exist when most of the following occurred, even the experiences I actually remember:)

• when I was born
• when I first said "dad"
• when I first thought my dad was superman
• when I first realized my dad wasn't superman
• when I realized my dad really was superman
• when I took my first sex-ed class
• when I first got PuddleDog
• when I first met PuddleMama
• when I proposed to PuddleMama
• when PuddleMama and I were married

Note, I did keep the list PG... Maybe I will revisit some of the above in future posts, for they already have shaped my idea of what being a father is, but I do understand its much like reading a how-to book on skiing without ever having actually skied.

So I decided to start my blog here:

• when PuddleMama and I decided we are ready to try for children

Now for the fun part! So today we did the first step any couple should accomplish to conceive a baby...... We plugged some data into http://www.ovulation-calendar.net/ (what did you think was the first step! As you can tell from my list, this blog is PG, considering the main audience will be my mama and PuddleMama's mama.)

Let me tell you, the results were spectacular, including adding what is I am sure to be the first of many new words to my vocabulary during this process- luteal phase. I will leave it up to the reader to Google the definition, as I have some work to do...

Birth of a Blog

The idea of a blog appeals to me greatly- sharing what's important with anyone who wants to fire up a browser and waste a few minutes. I love sharing what I write with others, and the idea someone smiles or laughs or even feels a twinge of sadness based on my writings makes me feel good. As my inspired use of adjectives has just proven, my prospects of becoming a published writer are less than bleak, but a blog provides an outlet for my desire to share.

Unfortunately, all of my past blogging attempts have failed in a pitiful blog-death after several uninteresting posts followed by several months of no posting whatsoever. There are several reasons for this, which can all be traced back to the fact I just have not written about what I care about the most. Books, movies, video-games, beer, my job, sports have all been subjects of previous blog-posts, and although they are all subjects I am interested in and get excited by, they are all also subjects that produce uninspired, liked it/disliked it, skip-over-entire-paragraphs-and-not-miss-anything blog entries.

When I try to blog on more personal subjects (think Dear Diary) I have always felt weird (again note my inspired use of adjectives) about sharing my inner most thoughts, especially with anonymous Internet browser. I hold back most of what would be interesting to read about, or at least delete it soon after posting. I am not sure if this is based on fear, humility, a lack of self confidence, or something else entirely. I do know I simply don't want to open up about many aspects of my private life on a blog, and I don't view this as something I would like to change.

So here I go in another, hopefully not doomed, attempt at a blog. But this time it is different! I am writing about something more personal and more important to me than I could possibly describe with my limited adjective-spewing abilities- becoming a father. Almost as important, I want to share the experience with everyone in the world, and I know at least a few people in that world who will actually be interested in reading.

An amazing and personal subject, a built-in audience, and over-used adjectives- a recipe for a successful blog if there ever was one.