Woo-K, here we go.

PuddleMama will be induced on Monday. We go in on Sunday night for "softening" and then the real fun begins Monday morning. Dr. Woo will be on call on Monday, so "Woo Kleczka" (Woo-K for short) just may be a dark-horse in the name race.

We had a bit of a scare last night as PuddleMama took a spill on some ice walking out of Target. We went in to get her checked out to make sure everything was okay. They monitored PuddleBaby for a few hours and the little bugger checked out good as far as they can tell. You hear that PuddleBaby? When you read this 18-20 years from now you can blame all your troubles on being dropped before you were even out of the womb! You knew it! PuddleMama is a little sore in the groin area (that's what got us into this mess!) but otherwise okay.

Since its so close to the the big birth-day, I thought I'd give everyone a little hint on the name. For both boy and girl, the leading names would result in the following initials:

F.U.K.

Can't you just picture the 2nd grade grade make-your-initials-out-of-macaroni art project?

Okay seriously, the leading contenders for names are:

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PuddleBaby BETTER be able to read at six months!

Haven't used bullet points in awhile, so here is one of those lazily thrown together posts without a central theme, but some fun points nonetheless:

• PuddleMama had her weekly appointment today and, yes, the cervix is indeed thinning.
• Doc is going to schedule the inducement for March 1st, which puts the likely birth date as March 1st or 2nd.
• "Oh crap" continues to make up the majority of my thoughts these days.
• We have tried some inducement methods.
• Yes, even the ones you're thinking of- it was Valentines day for Pete's sake.
• That's what got us into this mess! *rim-shot*
• We went to a pediatricians informational session tonight, which was very close to useless.
• The most interesting part was when a father-to-be (who looked to be about 21) starting rambling about some teach your baby to read system that he was going to start using at three months old. The system is supposed to guarantee your baby becomes the next Einstein. He was quite convinced in the value of the system, as he had "read many good things about it online."
• PuddleMama's belly button has still not popped... I'm already looking forward to pregnancy number two for another shot at this achievement.
• It is an extremely weird feeling to know that a day in the next two weeks will change my life forever. FOR-EV-ER.
• We continue to feel blessed with all our family and friends supporting us.
• "Boy" has made quite a comeback and passed "Girl" on the gender poll. Race isn't over yet though.
• No Mom, I am not giving you a hint what names are the front-runners for boy and girl.

I hope at this point "Stay tuned for news" doesn't need to be said, but its a good way to end a post anyway, so.... Stay tuned!

Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap!

The baby comes when the baby is ready right? Well, maybe. At PuddleMama's appointment today the doctor mentioned that if PuddleMama does not go into labor naturally they would induce by week 39 because of the gestational diabetes. By my Minnesota math this means the baby will be here by March 2nd (Jill, if you're reading this please make this an exercise in your algebra class today to double-check the figure.) Go ahead and read the title of this blog again. By far 90% of my thoughts since I heard this news today have consisted of some variation of those words.

I know what you're all thinking right now. "But I guessed [date after March 2nd] for the birth date!" Well, so did I. Luckily, according to the official sweepstakes rules you can change your answer up until the 15th. If you're reading this post after the 15th- lesson learned, check the blog for updates more often.

The next question I know everyone will ask is: "Are you ready?"

I would be crazy to think we are, but at least the things we have some control over are ready. The office is now half-office, half-nursery. The car seat is installed. We have had a talk with PuddleDoggy about his new role as big brother. Our hospital bags are packed. Our birth plan is written (thanks for the suggestions!) We have lots and lots of books waiting to be read, and (corniness warning) all the love in the entire world ready to give PuddleBaby.

Oh Crap! Oh..... crap..... Oh crap crap crap crap crap crap crap....

Birth Plan

PuddleMama and I came up with a "birth plan" like any pair of goody-two-shoes first-time parents to be should. We tried to consolidate our plan with items that we thought either may not be provided in the standard hospital setting and/or were very important to us.

I'm attaching a link to the birth plan more as a matter of record- I don't expect anyone to have any serious interest in it. That said, if any of the more experienced readers have any advice on items to add (because either they worked out very well for them or because they wish they would have had them) then let me know.

Best. Birth. Plan. Ever.

Oh, and I'm disappointed in the lack of responses for the PuddleBaby Prediction Contest. Get on it folks!

PuddleBaby Prediction Contest!

As promised, I am officially starting a PuddleBaby Prediction Contest (in other words, here is the obligatory baby pool.)

Entry:

Post a comment on this blog post with the following predictions:

1. Date of PuddleBaby's Birth
2. Sex of PuddleBaby
3. Weight of PuddleBaby

Prizes:

1. FIRST: A framed 5x7 photograph of PuddleDaddy holding PuddleBaby (autographed on request only) and a guaranteed invite to PuddleBaby's wedding where a "shout-out" will be given to the winner of this contest (who knows, it may be a destination wedding in Hawaii!)
2. SECOND: An unframed 4x6 photograph of PuddleDaddy holding PuddleBaby (autographed on request only)
3. THIRD: A wallet sized photograph of PuddleDaddy holding PuddleBaby (no autographs please)
4. CONSOLATION: Entries will be randomly selected from all non-winning comments to receive a free night with PuddleBaby while PuddleDaddy and PuddleMama go out on the town.


Official Rules:

1. All entry comments must be posted by February 15th.
2. Winner will be determined by correct prediction of birth date.
3. Should two or more contestants pick the same correct date, sex of PuddleBaby will be first tie-breaker.
4. Should two or more contestants pick the same correct date and sex, weight of PuddleBaby will the next tie-breaker.
5. Should two or more contestant pick the same correct date, sex, and weight of PuddleBaby, a tie will be declared.
6. You may change your predictions up until February 15th by editing your own comment on this blog post.
7. No purchase necessary to play, but buying me a beer or two may get you an insider tip or two on potential date, sex, weight.

Skin to Skin

Breast-feeding class is in the books, and PuddleMama and I feel we are as informed and prepared as any new parents could be in this area. We are ready to experience and participate in the breast-feeding phenomenon (PuddleMama just a breast or two more ready than myself.)

Let me tell you one thing- if I thought breasts were pretty amazing before this class, when I think about (i.e. stare at) them now I can only think about thanking the all-knowing deity that created them. So ladies, remember this, when your guy is staring at a stranger's breasts its not necessarily a dirty, chauvinistic, ape-like response. He could, like me, be thinking of how those amazing milk factories know how to produce the exact right milk for the respective baby, or about how the breast will actually get warmer if it senses a baby is cold. So don't slap him, or throw a jealous fit, but instead *thank* him for being a sensitive, intelligent, and appreciative man. You're welcome.

Among other good "tips" (punny) we learned that skin-to-skin contact is critical for a newborn, in regards to breast-feeding, but also in regards to other health factors such as blood pressure, temperature, stress, and blood-sugar. The last is particularly important for us because of the GD. Skin-to-skin contact has been proven to help regulate baby levels. I'm fully prepared and willing to whip of my shirt when needed (although it is still up in the air whether the photo of this will be uploaded to Facebook as my profile picture.)

On a related note, I've discovered the pregnancy version of the catch-all punch-line "That's what she said." It is: "That's what got us into this mess." Examples below:

Breast Feeding Instructor: "Skin-to-skin contact is very important."
PuddleDaddy: "That's what got us into this mess."

Breast Feeding Instructor: "... take out a breast and start massaging it."
PuddleDaddy: "That's what got us into this mess."

Breast Feeding Instructor: "The sucking should be comfortable. If it's not, detach and try a new position."
PuddleDaddy: "That's what got us into this mess."

Labor Instructor: "Moms get down on all fours and dads get behind them." (this is for labor comfort positioning)
PuddleDaddy: "That's what got us into this mess."

Inquisitive Friend (to PuddleMama): "You look so amazing! Do you mind if I feel?"
PuddleDaddy: "That's what got us into this mess."

Experienced Mother: "You guys are going to be up all night long!"
PuddleDaddy: "That's what got us into this mess."

I'll end with a historical note. I was breastfed for about six months, and PuddleMama was breastfed for almost a year and a half. The world average is 4.2 years. Think how much money we could save on food. PuddleMama, if you're up for it I am!

Hand Massage and Snickers, Please.

Baby weekend, involving 2 days, 3 live birth videos, 30 snack-demanding pregnant ladies, and 30 stunned and lost looking dads, is over. I expected plenty of blog-fodder from the weekend, but was mildly disappointed when I wasn't immediately clunked over the head by a pregnancy-class muse. There were definitely some highlights (for lack of better word) but for the most part we simply learned some valuable information about what to expect- mostly dealing directly with the labor process.


The first lesson we learned was what PuddleBaby would and would not look like after the great escape. PuddleMama and I had a fairly heated debate (although we were whispering not to disturb the rest of the class) over which new-born appearance "traits" we would like the least. They range from unshaped flat-heads to extreme-cone shaped heads, from blotchy red skin to peeling gray skin, from inflamed family jewels to inflamed girly parts. You get the idea. (FYI, for those loyal readers who know, yes, I did have "We da same!" running through my head when we discussed the cone-head shaped trait.) PuddleMama and I agreed we'll just pick "none of the above." Is that an option?


The second lesson I learned was a little more indirect. It was never directly discussed as a subject, but whenever I thought about the labor process, even knowing some labors last many hours or even days, I still pictured it a fairly fast process surrounded by nurses and doctors and maybe even a comic janitor a la Scrubs. What I didn't picture, but was really presented with over the course of the weekend, was the number of hours (days?!) I will spend with PuddleMama alone in our hospital room dealing with contraction after contraction after contraction with only a nurse checking up on us every once in awhile.


Yes, I am trying to say that I didn't realize how difficult this process would be for ME. I realize I am risking the wrath and scorn of every female reader I have, but this blog is, after-all, called "PuddleDaddy" and not "PuddleMama." And I am not comparing my pain to what PuddleMama's pain will be (although seriously, they don't offer me any stinking epidural) but in my mind I always pictured myself having a pretty damn good time during labor knowing it's my kid's birthday. I didn't picture myself hour after hour pressing PuddleMama's butt-cheeks together or watching her in extreme pain with no option to take any of the (physical) pain away. Hey, the old "it hurts me more than it hurts you" saying definitely applies here.


We did learn that if PuddleMama has a c-section I get my very own nurse to attend to just me! I am pretty excited about this. I have made a mental list in my head of all the requests I would have just in case. I've probably angered all my female readers enough, so I'll keep those requests to myself, but hand-massages and Snickers are near the top.


Shaken Baby Syndrome (and how to avoid it) was another "lesson," although I'm not quite sure how they stretched the three second lesson "don't shake you're baby" into an hour long topic. Most of this time PuddleMama and I engaged in a classic ""If you shake my baby, I will *insert extremely inappropriate, rude, and painful action here* you!" I declared myself the winner after PuddleMama retorted "If you shake my baby, I will kill you!" Although where PuddleMama lost points for creativity, she certainly made up for it in conciseness (which, as exampled from this blog post, I could learn a thing or two from.)


More lessons followed, but those were the most blog-notable. At the end of the class, the nurse-teacher asked who was more nervous after the class than they were before. Surprisingly, I was the only one (of 30 couples) who raised my hand. I'm pretty sure this means that I was the only daddy in the whole class who paid attention, but who knows. The next question was "Who is more excited?" which was answered by 30 mommy's (including PuddleMama) immediately shooting their hand's into the air (the other hand resting protectively on their respective belly.) At risk of starting a whole mars/venus discussion, I think my jaw dropped nearly as much at that response as at the live birth videos. How could all that class information not have scared the baby out of them?!


I am truly and honestly excited about PuddleBaby (if you don't believe me you haven't been reading this blog.) The class did not lessen this excitement- it did not however, increase any level even remotely related to excitement. Nervous and nervous-related levels went through the roof. Maybe I was already maxed out on excitement and this was just what I needed. PuddleMama, you want to practice those butt-cheek counter-pressure squeezes?